The Landlord
by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin
Summary: Oneshot. Lucci deals with his landlord, who is a very angry and money-hungry seven-year old. Based off of the Will Ferrell video "The Landlord".


**Author's Note:** I got the idea for this while re-reading some of the Water Seven/Enies Lobby Arc. I thought since it had all the roles needed in this version of "The Landlord", I decided to go ahead with it.

**Warnings: Swearing seven-year olds and seven-year olds doing stuff they shouldn't be doing.**

**Disclaimer: Eichiiro Oda owns One Piece and Will Ferrell owns "The Landlord".**

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><p>It was another day in Hollywood, California, as Rob Lucci and his two roommates, Jyabura and Kaku, were sitting around.<p>

"Can you believe it? Iceburg, the director, actually wants to play the mayor who gets shot by the woman Nico Robin plays in the movie. I mean, that's hardcore, man," Jyabura ranted as he read a tabloid magazine.

"Hey, Lucci, did you get that letter from your doctor yet?" Kaku asked Lucci as he poured a cup of coffee.

"I did. He said that Brooklyn Rage runs in my family," Lucci anwsered. Kaku and Jyabura laughed as the door knocked.

"Who's that?" Jyabura asked Lucci.

"It's our landlord, Chimney. We're late on payment because SOMEBODY wanted to wear that giraffe costume to that commercial shoot at Universal Studios," Lucci explained as he gave a glare to Kaku.

"Gabeen! I love giraffes!" Kaku cried.

"Kaku, let's get out of here so we don't get the landlord angry," Jyabura said to Kaku.

"No, it's fine. I can handle it," Lucci said as he made his way to the door.

"Uh-oh, I smell a bloodbath," Kaku said as he sniffed the air. Lucci anwsered the door to Chimney, his seven-year-old landlord, and her bunny who acted like a cat, Gonbe.

"Hi, Chimney," Lucci greeted the little girl.

"Where's my rent?" Chimney angrily yelled.

"Woah, woah, woah. Relax, Chimney," Lucci said to Chimney.

"You pay my rent now!" Chimney yelled.

"Chimney, look, i'll pay a third, and then Kaku and Jyabura can pay the other two-thirds later," Lucci explained.

"You pay now, bitch!" Chimney shouted.

"Excuse me, young lady, you do not talk to an adult like that!" Lucci scolded Chimney.

"I'm so sick and tired of this crap!" Chimney cried.

"Look, Chimney, I told you and Kokoro CLEARLY that I got less than what I was expecting for the filming of the movie 'Mugiwara Chase', and that I needed a couple more weeks. Is that understood?" Lucci asked.

"I work hard all day and all night, and this is the thanks I get? I WANT MY MONEY!" Chimney shouted so loud, that it was possible that everyone else living at the Enies Lobby Apartments heard her.

"Hey! You need to calm down," Lucci told Chimney.

"You're an asshole," Chimney bluntly stated. "I want my money, bitch."

"DON'T CALL ME BITCH OR ASSHOLE; I'M A GROWN MAN WITH BROOKLYN RAGE!" Lucci shouted with Brooklyn Rage.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch," Chimney sang to herself as Lucci facepalmed.

"Anything wrong, Lu?" Jyabura asked from inside.

"Everything's fine!" Lucci called back before turning back to Chimney.

"You'll be evicted if you don't pay the damn rent," Chimney warned Lucci.

"Please don't, Chimney. Kaku, Jyabura, and I have been getting paid a bit less than usual, so, hear me out," Lucci pleaded.

"I put you on the streets!" Chimney threatened.

"Look, Chimney, we're going through a rough time. Kaku has to work as a tour guide on the studio tour at Universal Studios while acting in various T.V. shows, and Jyabura's already working at night by acting in the stage play _The Desert Princess and the Pirates_. We'll pay you, we promise," Lucci explained.

"I'm gonna smack you," Chimney warned.

"You know what? You're going to have to chill out, or I will call the police," Lucci explained.

"I WANT MY MONEY!" Chimney shireked.

"Hold it, why do you need money so bad?" Lucci asked the little girl. He was expecting an anwser like "for toys" or "for candy", but, not what Chimney said.

"I need to get my booze on," Chimney anwsered. Lucci's face turned to shock.

"You scare me. You seriously need to go to rehab for alcohol addiction," Lucci explained.

"Can I have four beers?" Chimney asked Lucci as she stumbled around a bit.

"You're drunk," Lucci stated.

"I'm just buzzed!" Chimney argued.

"You are in no condition to discuss the rent with me," Lucci stated.

"I'm taking my cat and getting out of here," Chimney angrily stated.

"You know what? Just take your cat-rabbit thing and get out of here. We'll talk tomorrow," Lucci stated. Chimney picked up Gonbe and left.

"This isn't over!" Chimney yelled as she walked away. With a sigh, Lucci closed the door.

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><p><strong>Ending Note: <strong>At least Chimney would make a better landlord than Spandam, IMHO.

**I may do a One Piece version of "Good Cop, Baby Cop", so, review if you want to see it.**


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